Wednesday, November 10, 2010

off days :/

Yesterday was a good day. Classes weren't particularly stressful, and I was able to finally give a presentation that had been on my mind, weighing on me until I finally gave it. I even got the invitation to play some volleyball (that was a huge deal because I haven't been able to do that in over a year, and I can't begin to explain how excited I am). Yet as I walked back to my apartment from a small group meeting, I was a grouch. Just plain bad mood.

I was mystified. It wasn't even that anyone had said or done anything. What the heck was going on?! So then I started second guessing myself, beating myself up for how my presentation had gone, or how many people had contributed to discussion at small group. This, I knew, was dumb, because you can't change the past and things had actually gone pretty well. So what was it? I still couldn't figure it out. Then the situation just got worse because I was so frustrated with myself that I was getting in an even fouler mood. And unfortunately, it was the people around me who suffered through a rather short attitude. Finally I decided it was just time to end the day. Get in the shower, then get in bed and be done. Sometimes I feel like that's just what has to happen. So I got in the shower. And there must be some therapeutic effect of the running water or maybe the steam cleared up my brain. 

Spiritual warfare. I am, as I'm sure many people are, more vulnerable to it when I'm tired. I'm more likely to believe those little lies that Satan tells to break me down slowly, get me to start feeling sorry for myself. As if I'm not already self absorbed. I knew that I was getting it pretty heavy because I was feeling so crummy, so I decided no deep, extended conversations with my roommates or boyfriend because they probably wouldn't have positive outcomes. Bed. And God was good. A full night of rest and waking up to the song O Praise Him running through my head. I was still feeling a little off as the day went on, but God gave me some scripture that has really spoken truth to me. Perhaps it'll speak to you too.

2 Thessalonians 2:7-8
For the secret power of lawlessness is already at work; but the one who now holds it back will continue to do so till he is taken out of the way. And then the lawlessness one will be revealed, whom the Lord Jesus will overthrow with the breath of his mouth and destroy by the splendor of his coming.

Can I just say, how much more badass can Jesus be?

Are there times that you can't explain why you just feel out of sorts? Have you encountered spiritual warfare lately? How did you handle it?


  1. why yes michelle! oft a time, my erratic moods befuddle even me! though in seriousness, I think even seemingly random bouts of anger have an underlying cause: whether that is something unacknowledged, something we're dreamt up in our subsconscious, or something related to our turbulent hormones (if in doubt, always blame the latter!). your method for remedying the problem was perfect, in my opinion. If you're having a bad day, try to shorten the day rather than prolong it. resign yourself to the fact that today is just one of those days, sleep immediately, rise early and start fresh. perfecto!

  2. eek i often have prolonged conversations and end up taking it out on people = ugly!

    sometimes i have a little worship session to refocus (as bad as my guitar playing is) before doing other stuff.