flowers

It's been a while. I must say, the transition to the "real world" has been less than smooth and more than difficult. It is also incomplete. I am still struggling (more like flailing) to figure out where I am and what I am doing. But that is a story still in the making.

On to why I have suddenly decided to write today.

For a long time now, I have had a near obsession with flowers. Not in the sense that I have to know everything about them (I still don't know the pistil from the stamen), but I am fascinated by them.

They are simple, and temporary. If you don't pay any attention to them, they don't care. If you leave them alone, they can spread like wildfire and cover an entire stretch of highway median (I often wish I could pull over and just look. Take some pictures. Maybe pick one or two.). Yet, in their simple-ness is great complexity. Perhaps I just contradicted myself, but here is my reasoning. A daisy. If you were to just walk by, it would be nothing more than a cheery spot of color. But if you look at it for a couple minutes (yes, I do this), the intricacy is beautiful. How the petals grow just next to each other. Not in a jumble but beautifully and smoothly arranged next to each other. How the color is uniform and for some reason, evokes a happy feeling.

Sorry about the grainy-ness; this was taken with
my phone. This dahlia had me in awe of its
Creator. Maybe there will be a reminder
for you today.

Maybe this is just my girliness showing itself, but flowers make me happy. Simple, yet intricate displays of color and God's ingenuity and design. There is such a range. From friendly daisies to exotic orchids.

If God has put so much thought and beauty into a little flower, then so much more into you and me and into our lives. And if the flowers give praise and glory unto His name, then so much more should we... right? I forget this a lot. I can stand and admire a flower for what seems like ages, but do I give the same consideration to the people around me? Or do I pass them by, like pleasant additions to the landscape?

I was reminded this morning that we were created to give God glory. That is our primary purpose. Hopefully I will be continually reminded to get out of my own head and focus on Him, and all that is for His glory... and give Him praise and thanksgiving for it.

picture: China

Photo courtesy of my friend, QY (2010)

I have been privileged to have lived in China for 18 years. It wasn't until I went to college that I realized my lens of "home" was not what others understood. I don't wish to exoticize or reinforce stereotypes. These are just some pictures of a place I love. I wanted to share them with you because these images are representations of things that hold a place in my heart.

I love to take pictures. So I hope you enjoy what you see and get a glimpse of China as I picture it. 

Feel free to leave comments or ask questions.

yum

I am sitting in my new apartment. With a new mug. And a new coffee table. And a new bookshelf/tv stand. And a new (but secondhand) dresser. And new used (but handily redone with my friend, Spiffy Spraypaint) bar stools. And a jumble of previously owned items.

I lived in a reasonably small room for four years, and suddenly, I have three times that space. And that includes the space in the refrigerator because it's just me and I don't always know what to cook beyond peanut butter sandwiches, mac and cheese and turkey sandwiches. And I have to admit, the mac n cheese tasted a little off because I usually don't make it, so I forgot the butter, and didn't have salt. Bummer.

So since my spacious apartment has empty space, I took a little trip to Goodwill. Amazing. Mini mugs. Then I went on my merry way, looking for a consignment store. I didn't find it. However, do not be disappointed for me, my friend, because I still found a jewel. A pho restaurant. I pulled off to get my GPS and found, instead, Pho Nam. If you've never had pho, consider it recommended.

I'm not sure if it was the build up of hunger since I hadn't eaten since lunch and was famished, or if it was just the innate goodness of this pho. The broth was flavorful and the noodles were perfectly Q (good noodle chewy consistency) and the meat was tender and the bean sprouts? They were delightfully fresh and crisp. In a word? Delicious. Yum. Taste explosion (ok, I know that was two words).

Hungry? All that is left of this pho is the bowl. I drained it. We'll just have to get some more together :)

Good

He Is Risen!

Good Friday wouldn't be good if Jesus hadn't risen from the dead. Someone said that to me the other day, and it's true. If Jesus hadn't risen from the dead, everything he said would have been a lie and we would still be as stuck in our sin as we were from day one after the Fall.

I was driving down a country road the other day and listening to radio when I was suddenly crying. I was listening to K-love and the host was asking for call-ins from parents about how they explained Easter to their children. One woman called and was talking about her conversation with her 10-yr-old daughter. I don't remember her explanation for how the conversation came about, just her explanation of what God did on that cross. She asked her daughter (and I'm paraphrasing slightly), "Can you remember the worst thing you've ever done? And how bad and how heavy you felt about it? And you've just been here ten years; there are murderers and criminals out there who have hurt kids. Well Jesus took the heaviness and guilt and shame for everyone so that you don't have to because he loves you." She went on to describe how her daughter broke out crying. She got it. Joy. Thankfulness.

I don't know about you, but I wrestle with shame and guilt. I know that heaviness very well. To be reminded of my freedom so unexpectedly, yet at such a perfect moment brought me to tears. Sometimes it takes a succinct, simple explanation to reach through the busy-ness and self-absorbedness of my mind.

Switching gears, there's something else I want to share with you. I've been catching up on reading this weekend for various classes, and one book that's had me absolutely engrossed is Picking Cotton. It is the story of a violent rape, a wrongful conviction and an amazing story of forgiveness and redemption. I highly recommend it. It's a true story written by two people brought together by an act of evil, yet, by God's grace, this was used for incredible good. A woman was raped, and she identified an innocent man. After 10 years of imprisonment, DNA evidence set him free. Two years later they met. He forgave her, which allowed her to forgive herself and the man who actually committed the crime. They became good friends. This is incredible to me. It goes against all of this world's sense. As one who has wrestled with forgiveness and thought about it a lot, this little bit resonated with me. Let me share it with you:

"Forgiveness is tricky. People think when you forgive someone, you excuse what he did. That's not what it is. It's about power and letting go...If Ronald (the man wrongfully convicted) had forgiven me (the victim who accused him) so gracefully, so completely, could I forgive the man who had hurt us both?" (page 252 for those interested)

I agree. Forgiveness doesn't mean everything is as it was. The past doesn't disappear. But we move forward from it. And God forges something stronger, more beautiful than imaginable. So on this Easter weekend, I praise God for being God. For being Unchangeable, Unshakeable, Forever I Am. For being bigger than my sin and yours. For forgiving me more than anyone could ever wrong me. For victory over death, darkness. For not leaving you and me in a pit of loneliness, shame, guilt and heaviness. For being a God of Love. Of Creativity; who else would have designed something beautiful such as a flower to thrive in what we would call refuse, waste or manure?

Happy Resurrection Day, everyone.